10 Reasons You Should not Go to the Altar with that Lady

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It is not an unusual story to hear of men’s downfall that was caused by their ‘women’. But does that mean that women are evil? No! Many times it was because the man involved ignored the warning signals that show that the particular woman was not meant for him.

Throughout the ages, there have been examples of men who had their promising future dashed by virtue of the fact that they got involved with particular women whom they thought loved them but who eventually became their Achilles heel. It is not an unusual story to hear of men’s downfall that was caused by their ‘women’. But does that mean that women are evil? No! Many times it was because the man involved ignored the warning signals that show that the particular woman was not meant for him.

When you see the following signs in your relationship during courtship, it is time to re-consider the relationship:


If the lady you are courting always compares you unfavourably with other men whom she perceives are better than you such that you have to keep struggling to meet up to her standards, you need to take a second look at your relationship. If she mocks and ridicules you in private or in public, and if each time you are with her, you lose your composure, feel intimidated, feel inferior and cannot be yourself, then, something is seriously wrong with your relationship.


If you notice she is just milking you. She demands for money regularly and does not really care how you get it. All she wants is to be comfortable even if you go into debts. When you have to constantly exhaust all your savings, and even go into borrowing in order to please her; you might be courting a gold-digger and this means that when you no longer have something to give, she won’t hesitate to break the relationship.


When the lady is the type that no one (not even you) can ever persuade to change her mind once she takes a decision. Any time your will and hers clash, she always insists on having her way, either by fighting you or by sulking or threatening. She tells you that she does not say sorry and in order to settle the quarrel, you are the one that must always apologize. And in addition, she keeps a record of your wrongs and keeps bringing it up when fresh issues arise.


When the lady is insincere and you keep discovering or unravelling lies in her words or actions. If you notice these inconsistencies continuously you must beware. When you discover that she is hiding so many things, if she does not want certain people to see you together, and if you discover she is courting another man the same time as you, a wedding ring will not make her faithful to you after she has become your wife.


When she is choking you up such that you don’t have time to think or reflect alone; when she always wants to be around and can’t let you off her sight so much that she sulks when she sees you talking casually with any other lady, you need to watch. If she is rushing you towards marriage without giving you room to reflect, think or pray; if she asks you to swear that you will never leave her or even asks you to make blood covenant with her, take caution. Don’t rush ahead into marriage.


In the Bible there was a record of a man who teamed up with his wife to deceive the Apostles of Jesus, the end result was destruction.  (Acts 5 1-10). If you notice that since you began to move with her, your commitment to God reduced greatly. If you find yourself teaming up with her to deceive people or to do immoral acts, then you have to break the relationship. It is not healthy for you.  A spouse is meant to help you to be stronger in resisting evil.


You are courting her because of financial gain, prestige or need for security.  You are not really interested in her welfare but what you can gain from her. That is not fair on her and going into marriage on that platform will only bring about a crisis situation because eventually, she will discover that you are only using her and this can make her bitter. If you realize that you are deceptive, then you are not yet a marriage material. You need to go off the relationship and allow God to work on you.


If she always irritates or annoys you when she is ’herself’, if she must completely change her personality before you can accept her, then, you might not be meant for each other regardless of the other brilliant qualities you see in her, because it means that for her to survive with you, she would need to keep struggling to be someone else, pretending all the days of her life.


If both of you do not agree on fundamental issues of your faith in Christ, practical commitment to obeying Biblical instructions in and lack of compatibility on your major pursuits in life. If your fiancée constantly urges you to do things that are against your basic life’s values, you must beware. You should not wave these discrepancies aside, they are fundamental to a sustainable marriage.


Finally, if you feel trapped each time you think about the relationship such that when you are together, you feel as if something is wrong with the relationship. You just have a deep seated fear whenever you think of going to the altar with her. You need a break from that relationship to sort out issues. Godly counselling and prayers will be of great help to you.

Deji Adepeju

Deji Adepeju

Deji is a practising architect and lecturer. He is a passionate follower of Christ and a balanced counsellor who has a passion for youths. Every time spent with him exudes deep thoughts and insights to living. He has a granary of wisdom very relevant to this generation gained from finely brewed encounters he has passed through in life himself

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